Wednesday, April 28, 2010

To share or not to share?

One of the increasingly difficult situations that I have had to come across has been when and where it's appropriate to share that I have another daughter, Grayson.

I get asked many times a week "So is this your second?"  Many times I just say yes, or sometimes I am adamant that Grayson gets mentioned, because she is a part of our family. Today was Addison's kindergarten orientation. Talked with a lot of people, one who asked this very question. Matt and I always have this hesitation and then look between us before we answer, not knowing what the other is feeling. This must be weird to most people, this is a factual answer, there should be no pause.  We both confirmed that it was our second, not wanting to create any awkwardness.  As I walked away I could kick myself because Grayson deserves to be recognized.

When my friends share stories from their children's birth, I want to add Grayson's story to it, these are my friends and I have her pregnancy and birth story, just like Addison's. I craved fruit with Grayson, I didn't gain as much weight as I did with Addie and being pregnant over the summer is just NOT fun. I have a completely different birth story to share as we do with all of our children, when my water broke, how long I was in labor, when contractions started. This is all etched in my history along with Addison's pregnancy and entrance. But there is no joyful, happy ending here and again I hesitate to bring the group down.

Yesterday, we went to the doctor, it was great news, so great. This baby is perfect in every way. The ultrasound tech told me that she has hair. I remember when they told me that Grayson had hair, I called my dad on the way home to share the news, Addie was so...bald.

The emotions from losing Grayson are RIGHT HERE, so fresh and raw, right in front of my face again. I thought that I had neatly tucked her away in my head, to bring out when I wanted to.  Not the case.  I don't get to decide when to grieve for her, it just happens.

This is my third child.  I have three daughters, one named Addie who will be 5 in July, one named Grayson who would turn two this October and one to be born very soon.

Thanks for letting me share.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Full House is taking over OUR house

When Addison walks in the door from school, the first thing she asks for (besides food) is the show "Full House" Remember the show with Danny Tanner, his three daughters (DJ, Stephanie and Michelle) and his 2 best friends Jesse Katsopolis and Joey Gladstone? Don't forget Rebecca Donaldson, Jesse's move in girlfriend who eventually he marries and has twin boys with. 

While I am on bedrest I am much too obliged to let Addie sit and watch something that will hold her attention for more than 5 minutes.  Lately, Addison has been coming away with some interesting tidbits from the show.

The other day we were talking in the kitchen and I said "Addie do you like candy apples?"
She looks at me in surprise and says " Oh no, I would never eat that, it will take my fillings out!"  (Interesting tidbit #1)

We were in my bedroom and she pulls out this dress that I have and says "Mommy, where did you get this? The 70's?" (Interesting Tidbit #2)

She loves to tell me "That's RUDE." Stephanie's catch phrase from the 90's, and she knows what a honeymoon is "because Rebecca and Jesse went on a honeymoon to Hawaii." ( this is what she tells me, don't know if it's true.)

She begins a couple of sentences a day with "Hey Mister..." (A Michelle favorite) and knows who Elvis Presley is because of Jesse's embarrassing obsession with the man.  She wants to go to Graceland for the love of Pete.

They say that TV is shaping our children's views of the world.  Yep, I would say this is true and until I get the OK to run and play, "Full House" will continue to shape and mold Addie's little world.  Atleast she is getting a taste of the 90's, where the hair is big, acid jeans rock, and telephones still have cords.

"That's A-OK Dude." (Thanks Michelle)